Why I consider embarrassment a strategy

I fell prey to being alone.

Neglected in the prison-pool of timelessness.
A precious resource that unfolded before me like never before.
I came into being as I came into loss.
And then, you returned.

I blamed you for leaving me alone in the first place,
unprotected and envious.  My needs mattering less and less.
The scales tipping towards those who demanded,
Those who prettied themselves, thinned themselves,
who appeared free, or should I say, unslaved.

What is it fair or not fair?

I had been given a role,
Afterall, I was given unilateral permission to have 'success' or become 'failure'.
As if I chose.  And IF I chose either? Or neither?
A split atom, a Schrodinger's cat... I might disappoint or even anger,

Falseness or truth. Despair or fashion. Drops or tides.
Alone I will say that, yes, alone. Alone while I waited.

The Angels Light Up the Night Sky

The angels light up the night sky while bandages around my heart keep the ache from spilling out into my protected silken bandages.  And yes, I am wrapped cautiously around "new". Veins in my arms mark the chapters of my story even yet while these chapters are still unfolding. I notice people that can't listen. I notice people that can help and do. I notice myself feeling pride in my closure of a door, with Love and peace. I wonder when the bruises will fade - I wonder. Moving is measured by the healing of the scrape on the top of my foot. by the number of bumps and bruises on my legs. by the broken finger nails, and dirt that remains underneath. By the sore muscles from the multiple life-heavy boxes I hand-carry up one set of stairs and down another. Up another. and open and clean and toss. Another set of stairs. The angels light up the night sky. The move is done and another chapter begins. As if reading one non-stop novel at a time isnt enough.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEvsDuJYEnI