I lost myself in the opening of my soul
and now I have forgotten
what threads hold me together
'lostness' feeds a craving now
slipping down the rabbit hole
a muddy slide
while my psyche holds on
to tearing roots and crumbling hillsides

the mystery of one's darkness
the entire story is here
in these pages;
in the unfolding panic
the swelling fear
while truth holds me
like an eternal friend

What do blue skies and sunshine really mean?

structures and societies
beliefs and wisdom
choice and dreams
actually quite dynamic
but where do I stand really?
I am craving, desiring, reaching really
for a human connection - pulling hard
I am reaching in where depth loses me
 where not pulling feels like pushing
while pushing feels like not pulling